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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. |
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. |
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back. |
Funny jokes, short funny stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, real funny stories, funny jokes, short funny stories. |







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all aphorisms
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back. (C) Unknown 03/14/2008
All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score. (C) Unknown 03/14/2008
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. (C) Spike Milligan 03/14/2008
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward. (C) Unknown 03/14/2008
A banker will lend you money only if you can prove you don't need it. (C) Unknown 03/14/2008
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? (C) Stephen Wright 03/14/2008
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities. (C) Frank Lloyd Wright 03/14/2008
Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. (C) Nero Wolfe 03/14/2008
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it. (C) Oscar Wilde 03/14/2008
I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. (C) Mark Twain 03/14/2008
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