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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. |
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. |
Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back. |
Funny jokes, short funny stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, real funny stories, funny jokes, short funny stories. |







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all aphorisms
Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. (C) George Patton 03/14/2008
Parkinson's Fourth Law: The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done. (C) C. Northcote Parkinson 03/14/2008
People forget how fast you did a job -- but they remember how well you did it. (C) Howard W. Newton 03/14/2008
The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up. (C) Harold R. McAlindon 03/14/2008
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things. (C) Niccolo Machiavelli 03/14/2008
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. (C) A. J. Liebling 03/14/2008
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none. (C) Doug Larson 03/14/2008
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day weekend. (C) Doug Larson 03/14/2008
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. (C) Lao Tsu 03/14/2008
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