You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Funny jokes, short funny stories, aphorisms, anecdotes, real funny stories, funny jokes, short funny stories.

 


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    hate aphorisms

        If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you -- but if you really make them think they'll hate you.
          (C) Unknown
            03/14/2008

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                Clear writers assume, with a pessimism born of experience, that whatever isn't plainly stated the reader will invariably misconstrue.
                  (C) John R. Trimble
                    03/14/2008

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                                I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from the wounded... I have seen the dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed... I have seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war.
                                  (C) Franklin D. Roosevelt
                                    03/14/2008

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                                        The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
                                          (C) Thomas Macaulay
                                            03/14/2008

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                                                To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you hit, call it the target.
                                                  (C) Ashleigh Brilliant
                                                    03/14/2008

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                                                        Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
                                                          (C) Unknown
                                                            03/14/2008

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                                                                The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
                                                                  (C) Casey Stengal
                                                                    03/14/2008

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                                                                        As you ramble on through life, brother, whatever be your goal: keep your eyes upon the donut, and not upon the hole!
                                                                          (C) Murray Banks
                                                                            03/14/2008

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